Someone shit on the floor
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
