Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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