Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
