okay pat passed out under dana's car
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
