Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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