It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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