i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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