I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
