yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
