Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
