i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
