He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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