can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just googled if crying burns calories
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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