The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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