I wish I only lived at night.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
