i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
