the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
