she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
