White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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