Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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