the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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