I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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