Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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