is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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