Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
