So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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