we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
