even my farts smell like vagina
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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