Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
