Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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