You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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