so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
