After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
