A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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