We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize