i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
