come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
