windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
