Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
