the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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