You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
do nipples grow back?
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