K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize