My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
