I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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