"it" just moved
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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