A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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