At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
