is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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