the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
