Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize