the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
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