She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
