You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
