every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
