"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
