i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
