The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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