Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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