When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
