you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
