I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
