Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
