please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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